Delusions
by Rosalinestrife
Summary: This is just something I did for a school assignment, so it's not too long. This mainly consists of Wesker's thoughts after being fatally wounded during the mansion incident. Includes my OC John. R
1. Part one

(Second story on this site, please try not to flame me ; )

_Eyes so cold… Colder than any winter I have ever endured. The feeling of blood frothing within me…The pulsing of my life blood through my veins seemed to hum in symmetry with the foreign body impaling in my chest. I scream, and I am tossed aside…Landing against a computer counsel before slumping to the ground below it. The absence of the claw leave a dull throbbing ache echoing throughout my chest, allowing more blood to pour onto the floor as my consciousness begins to fade away._

_…I can't hear Chris anymore….I'm not scared…And I know I am going to die…All I can think now is;_

_How did I get myself into this mess?_

I remember, I always remember…Even when I don't want to.

The snow fell slowly about, painting the dark roads with faith that would not last in the morning. For not even the most beautiful of things would last here…Never here…Never here. The faint fumes of geranium and the dying spring linger in the air, swirling around the falling leaves and snowflakes that scattered the ground. I watched him dance in the snow then, smiling joyously as he always did in the wake of the coming winter. Eyes as blue as the sky…Blonde hair swaying in his face every time the wind picked up. I watched him then...as pure as the snow that fell, and yet….he was never tainted by this world. …Heh, A trait that I so longed for in my futile bought for humanity. I may not be human anymore...But maybe I wanted to be more like him back then. Such a distant memory…such beauty does not exist...Not anymore.

Why? Why think on it now?...Perhaps it is every being's nature to think back on what was once had…A human's nature to lament over what is gone now. Perhaps that is why I always…after looking at what I have done, think about his face... My brother, My Jonathan… My reflected image, my twin...

How long has it been?

_…Twenty years…?_

_Ah…I remember how the sky darkened that day…The snow stopped, and so did your dancing. A subtle cough and a weakening stance brought you to your knees. Your coughs bringing scarlet reckoning to the pale skin of your palms as you covered your face.  
_

_What horrible illness of god's will struck you down in the street where you stood smiling? _

_I watched you fall then for the first time. And for the first time…You did not cry._


	2. Part two

_(AN: Wesker seems a bit OOC...well, perhaps more than a bit. But this was the emotion the assignment called for. Hope this is ok! Easy with the flames . )_

_You didn't cry….I wish you would have, Jonathan…__  
__  
_

_This story began as any other horrible story does… A brother lives happily with his family…His family moves around a lot. He has no friends to speak of because they thought he was too smart…or too weird. And the only person who could understand him was someone who knew him since before he was born…Fused into his soul. He shared his every breath, memory, tear, and thought with this person…a twin…an angel…How horribly corny..._

_Jonathan Wesker…That is his name…Yes, that's it. How could I forget…?_

_A man with a beautiful soul…Filled with such a strong since of justice, that it would make someone like me ill from just hearing about it. Such innocence that could no longer be found… A heart so pure it could put the most beautiful gem to shame…He was beautiful...,gifted with angelic features; Golden blonde hair…Gray blue eyes that looked like they belonged to that of St. Michael himself. Oh, Jonathan…how god must have wept when he wove your soul. And yet, how funny that this man is related to someone like me…God has a sense of humor after all. Jonathan, How hurt he must have been …How he must have cried and prayed for me... Maybe I wish for too much.._

_He reminds me much of Chris… Perhaps why I hate him so…?_

_No...No, not because he foiled my plans...Not because I just threw away my humanity for almost nothing. But, because he causes this lump of darkness in my chest to ache when I see him. This…heart that I wish now would stop pounding. Die…Let me die. Let this stop…Not now. Please not now…_

_I know...I know... __  
__  
_

_I know why now…I wanted to put out that light… That light that burned my eyes..That very light that inspired me to find those sunglasses in the first place... The pain that erupted from within my chest whenever I took someone down, and you stood aside, Staring at that smoking gun in my hands with horror. I would smile as I whipped the crimson stain from my face...Like everything were ok...Dear Chris...You and Jonathan would have been the best of friends._

_Hatred...Hatred? Yes...Hatred... _

_ How can I live without you?..._

_The hatred in me? Funny I should think of this now…Why did I do it? you asked me once... Why would I let them down?…The very men who put their lives in my hands and trusted me as their captain?…Friends…I actually had friends…So rare a commodity for me…"Why Albert?" you screamed. "WHY?!__"  
_

_  
__….Because I did not care... _

_Because I was ordered to….I was paid to. I didn't cry, I didn't blink…Not even once when they sent down the order.. Such wonderful excuses I can come up with. Such is the life of a liar._

_Forest, Joseph, Kevin, Edward, Brad, Richard, Enrico, Kenneth, Rebecca, Barry, Jill, Chris…… _

_Jonathan…All of those people. Those faces that once smiled and cried…I killed them. And those who still live…I want to kill them too…What would you think of me now? Would you beg me like before to stop? To come home?…_

_I don't remember when it first blossomed from within me...I don't remember when I gave into the hatred…When did I let myself slip into the darkness? When did I stop hearing the voice that told me that enough was enough? When? When?!_

_I needed him…As much as he needed me. Perhaps more than he needed me. I needed something to protect…I needed something stable. I NEEDED him…I needed my little brother…_

_I needed something..._

_…Jonathan…Jonathan….where did I go wrong?.._


End file.
